I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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