I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
