She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
