i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
