So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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