i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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