how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Of course I have a pirate flag
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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