Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
