i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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