did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Two words: blizzard sex
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
