I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
