my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
you will always have a special place in my vag
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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