Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
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