no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'm bleeding and have questions
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
