i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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