she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
