Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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