i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
