my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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