Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
