you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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