3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
