ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
