He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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