Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
