I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
