I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
