i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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