using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize