i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
