this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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