didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
God, you're like boner-b-gone
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
