So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
