If that was your dad, he is hot
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize