sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
