kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
