are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
