my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
she looked like the before picture.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
