I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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