I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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