I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
my poor anus
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize