She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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