It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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