ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
