I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
