i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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