There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
