Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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