JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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