16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize