tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
