I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
These 25 Rude People Ruined Movies for Everyone Else
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week