was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
