how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She's the barista slut.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.