fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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