I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
