normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
