My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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