She announced her abortion via fbk
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
