finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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