my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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