Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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